Florida Forecast Calls For ‘Raining Iguanas’
Like some three-second Rick and Morty background sight gag or the idea for a Weather Girls parody that an 8-year old would send to Weird Al after eating too many Lucky Charms … for the first time in history, it’s gonna start raining iguanas.
As reported by CNN, exceptionally cold temperatures have been creeping through the American southeast, dropping thermometers 10 to 15 degrees cooler than usual at this time of year. As a result, the National Weather Service has issued a freeze warning specifically pertaining to pre-nuclear Godzillas in the area, tweeting on January 21, 2020, “Don’t be surprised if you see iguanas falling from the trees tonight.” It’s the sort of heads up that will, without a doubt, mean that nobody will be surprised when iguanas start falling from the trees.
Iguana go out to run and let myself get absolutely soaking wet
Iguanas, which sleep in trees like degenerates, are not indigenous to Southern Florida, but they’ve really made a name for themselves since being released into the wild by unscrupulous pet owners in the 1960s. Occasionally they’ve even gone so far as to hang out in homeowner’s toilets. Now, a cold front moving through the area has the potential to really muck up their night, as temperatures below 45 degrees Fahrenheit will cause them to go into a dormant state. While their respiratory and circulatory systems will keep on trucking, the reptiles will appear to be a big sack of dead lizard bits. That means a loss of muscle control — the very muscles that keep them latched onto tree branches.
Keeping all of that in mind, the NWS thought folks in the Sunshine State deserved an FYI: five-foot long dinosaurs may appear to be falling from the sky overnight. This being Florida and everything, Zoo Miami’s communications director Robert Magill was quick to point out that this isn’t all bad news. “…there are several iguana hunters that are looking forward to this upcoming cold front as it will certainly facilitate them removing these invasive reptiles from the South Florida environment as they will not be able to run away,” he was quoted as saying, forcing citizens of the rest of the world to come to terms with the fact that “iguana hunter” is a job.
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