Imagine All the Snacks
It was at the end of a very long creative meeting that this doozy of an ad campaign came into being. It must have been a hard day in an, especially tedious week.
If you try to imagine more than you can imagine, you might get stuck in a perpetual loop caused by the black hole that is terrible advertising.
Good Job Rhyming
At least Jay Orman doesn’t take himself too seriously; that’s always a nice quality in a man! Especially as his billboards must be plastered all over town, advertising his services as a realtor.
A man has gotta know what he can and can’t do and stick to his strengths. So, just for being such a good sport, we’d give Jay a call if we need to find a home, that is.
Oh, Macky D’s, America’s go-to when it comes to cheap, fast, and astonishingly disappointing food. They have finally put up a slogan with an accurate representation of their newest meals. We’ll venture a guess and say that this must be the work of a clever vandal.
Sure, there are many who savor their McDonald’s meals, but that’s only because they grew up with it, and there is something very comforting about familiar food.
We’re not sure what we think about this one! On the one hand, it could be considered as a marketing fail – we wouldn’t recommend this place if you’re looking for a nice “Fish & Chips” place to take your Nemo-loving kids. And if you do, at least cover their eyes on the way in!
On the other hand, we have to give them points for creativity, though. If you’re over the age of 12, you’re sure to have a big laugh with this one.
The Best Nation In The Nation!
And this is precisely why America is “the best country in the nation,” because not only is America a country, and not an entire continent, but it is also the best country within one country!
Bravo guys! We sincerely advise brushing up on your geography and grammar lessons. To avoid next time’s embarrassing sign.
They say it’s essential to diversify your business. This person took it very seriously and decided to offer two services that you might not combine naturally.
It’s either that or someone, somewhere along the process, made a huge mistake. But then again, you can never know if psychic karate could be for you.
Laugh Out Loud
What should one do upon spotting someone drowning in the ocean? LOL, first, then call 911. This pro safety tip is brought to you by this very confusing warning sign placed near a beach.
Indeed, according to this warning sign, if you spy on someone drowning in the nearby waters, you simply must have a good, hearty laugh. Leave the emergency dialing for later. We’re guessing whoever designed these got laid off pretty soon after these signs were put up…LOL!
Watch Your Wheelchair’s Step!
In what strange alternate universe is a wheelchair user able to wheel up a flight of stairs? The world may never know. Sadly, the above sign is not the result of a new form of wheelchair stair-stepping technology. No, this sign is simply the result of poor design.
While the creator of this confusing sign attempted to utilize it to convey a potentially hazardous situation ahead, this sign’s designer ultimately fails to convey the sign’s intended warning message!
Bees in the rest stop’s bathroom? We’ll hold it till the next restroom stop. Though the origins of the location of the above warning sign remain unknown, we know we’d never want to be there.
We figure this sign was probably put up either as a joke or as a means to keep away unwanted restroom visitors.
Three is a Good Number
Whoever designed this sign should pay more attention to phrasing. We get it; the speed limit is 20 mph because there are children on the road.
Still, it could also be perfectly misconstrued as absolutely insane advice from parents that went a bit overboard when they decided to try and have siblings for little Jimmy to play with. Do not exceed 20? We’d strongly recommend not having more than three! Unless you’re rich and have 150 nannies.
Count Dracula, Your Sales Representative
It looks like Mr. Greenberg is much more than a sales representative. He’s Count Dracula! No wonder he’s number one.
And to the design geniuses that decided to put a black tilted square behind a man’s face to make it look like a vampire collar…thank you for this! We really needed this.
Lost in Translation
Someone took the easy way out when they were asked to translate this sign. Instead of using a book or even google – they went to a translator service. They typed in whatever this sign was supposed to say – and what they received in return is what made it onto the sign.
The website they were using couldn’t connect, and someone either wasn’t paying attention or didn’t know English that well because this is awkward!
We Got it The First Time, Anna
Who in the hell put together Anna’s sign? It sure seems like they went a little overboard with the whole “food mart” thing, doesn’t it?
Okay, we get it; you’re a food mart. Geez. Wouldn’t the large print be sufficient enough to tell us that, though? The smaller words in the middle and at the bottom of the sign aren’t helpful. If anything, they’re just confusing. Did Anna really think this advertising sign was a good idea?
Now That’s A Neat Trick
This strangely hung sign could be a marketing ploy to make us sit up and take notice of the different parts of this outfit, but we think it is more likely a magic trick gone wrong. The amateur magician who hung up this sign is clearly obsessed with the sawing-a-woman-in-half trick. Unfortunately, they didn’t know how to put her back together again.
On the other hand, it is more noticeable than a regular ad and may make more people consider buying separate items of clothing or the whole ensemble.
Walking around your neighborhood, you’ll be greeted by all sorts of front yards. In recent years, people have been using lawn signs to stand out.
Being a realtor can be hard. Selling a house is not as easy as it used to be, so you gotta make sure you emphasize the house’s best qualities – like the fact that it is definitely not haunted! Or is it?
A Piece of History
Landmark signs are a big tourist attraction – for some reason, people love reading that something happened precisely where they are standing 500 years ago.
Perhaps it’s their way of feeling like a part of history? Imagine driving hundreds of miles just to see this sign! Totally worth it, in our opinion!
No Soliciting…Unless It’s Thin Mints
We’re not going to lie; we completely understand the need for an elaborate sign like this. This sign has got it covered – unless you’re selling Thin Mints, you’re welcome to leave.
We wonder how many solicitors visited this house before these homeowners before decided enough was enough and purchased this custom-made sign.
Making Pour Decisions
If a pirate were ever to move to a suburban neighborhood, we’re guessing this is the exact sign they would choose to put up.
Come election season; you’re expected to put up lawn signs publically announcing your political opinions. But why be political when alcohol never loses. Well, almost never.
Welcome to The “OOL”
This sign is a warning that isn’t obvious as soon as you read it, but it makes you think for a second. Having a clear message is important but making people remember what you’re trying to tell them is equally important. Such is the case with this “ool sign.”
This can be achieved by driving a message home. We totally agree with this sign, as the message is on point, and it’s a pretty gross thing to do.
Please Do Not Enter
We all know that The United States of America has a culture of suing, and this sign looks like it lays out the series of events that will follow. This household also has a culture of not letting people into their property.
You have been warned that you may get hurt and that your defense won’t stand up in a court of law as this will be used as evidence against you!
Such a great pun. First of all, who was the brave soul that dared steal nothing less than a toilet from the police?! We shudder thinking about how they will rid themselves of all those doughnuts and coffee!
Not only are these boys clueless, but they LITERALLY have nothing to go on! Sorry guys, it looks like you’ll have to resort to the woods for a while.
Don’t Mess With Those Pills
We have to say we totally agree with this yard sign. At least this guy is taking it in stride and wishing well upon whoever took his anti-depressants. To be honest, they’re probably very happy.
We do wonder what causeג the thief to take someone’s anti-depressants, was there no cash lying around? While we’re loving the dry humor, don’t people know you don’t mess with someone’s happy pills?!
Greatest Dad Joke Ever
This is a gem from the Colorado-based Indian Hills Community Center. The sign had us laughing for a while. They sure know how to keep the place alive, even in the dead of winter.
Doesn’t it sound like some typical dad joke your father would blurt out in the middle of a family dinner? This dad wanted everyone to hear his joke, so he took it to the next level. Yes, it’s cheesy. But great, nonetheless.
Absolutely No Emptying of Dogs in these Parts.
For the love of God — whatever you do, don’t empty your dog here! Yes, it is a known fact: when dogs eat, they will eventually need to ‘be emptied.’ While the phrasing of the above sign is unusual, it does weirdly get the point across.
The trick lies in remembering to always pick up your dog’s waste and dispose of it in the proper dog waste bins. As the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s Clean Water Campaign so cleverly puts it, “If you think picking up dog poop is unpleasant, try swimming in it.”
Stay Out of the Bike Lane
This sign achieves something pretty amazing; it defies its own instructions! The sign reads “Give Cyclists Space,” which is a great sentiment. Unfortunately, it completely undermines that statement by being positioned in the middle of the bike lane.
We have no idea what they were thinking when they put it up and dangerously blocked the bike lane, forcing bikers to swerve into the lane used by cars. Luckily, the cart has wheels, which makes this absurd situation easily rectified.
The Best Diet
We have all heard about balanced diets, but when it comes to actually achieve one.. well, that’s a lot harder than it sounds. Luckily this sign decided to give us clear instructions, and we love it.
It is sweet and simple and doesn’t require too much thought. If you have an ice cream cone in each hand- you are indeed balanced. Is your diet balanced? Well, that’s a whole other story.
Just Throw Away the Calendar
If you can never go outside, whether it’s because you live in a snowy wasteland, in a boiling desert, or for some other, unnamed reason, it can be hard to keep things straight.
We just got past Octember, which means the corn is about to grow, and the apple trees are about to drop all the apples at once. Don’t worry, the month-long festival that is ‘Danuary is just around the corner. Everybody get your hockey sticks out for the big parade!
Crime Against Culinary Arts
Is this sign a good thing? A bad thing? Are they murdering tacos because they’re so good at creating and serving them in a variety of different formats that they could be seen as “killing them”? Or are they doing dirty to everybody’s favorite Mexican cuisine, putting them together in such a bad way that they are, in fact, killing them, as in dead?
We’ll just have to take a trip to wherever this is and find out. It will have to be an undercover job – they’ll be looking for people in police uniforms. Just be sure to bring your badge.
Talk About Advertising
Apparently, this restaurant is home to a poet. There are lots of ways to describe biting into a hot dog – both good and bad – but a “thunderous pop” is a new one to us.
Pink flesh is a bit of an odd choice since that could so easily equate to eating fellow humans to a lot of people, and “saline tang” might be even weirder, since saline is a word not many use frequently, and there are probably plenty who don’t even know the meaning. It means salty, for the most part, and we guess that does make sense.
Encouraging Customer Turnover
If you’ve ever run a restaurant, you know that serving people who come in and out quickly so that they can leave and give the spot to someone else is the best way to make money.
This establishment, Bob’s Grill, has a of making sure people don’t linger too long, and that’s putting their feelings upfront. This isn’t a place to gather with friends and take up a table for a few hours; this is a place to shove some grub down your gob and move on.
It Speaks the Truth
We have no idea what kind of restaurant put up a sign like this, but you can’t deny that it brings a certain amount of wisdom. A diet is eating the right kind of food in the right amounts – eating too much, or too little of something will throw your entire life out of whack.
But the most important part of your diet is the fact that you do, in fact, have to eat food. We know! We know it might come as a shock to some. But you do have to eat food in order to have a diet.
We Like Big Subs
There used to be a time when six inches was enough to fill anybody up. But times have changed, and this Subway knows that people need more these days.
If you’re trying to fill a hole inside you, then there’s really only one option: head to your favorite sub shop and get a full twelve inches. But we all know it isn’t about the size – it’s about the service.
Now That’s an Advertisement
At Sherrill’s, you can get everything you need, and we mean everything. Not only can you fill up your stomach, but you can fill up in other ways, too. Of course, whether or not you bring your car with you, you’re going to get plenty of gas when you shop in Tipton, Indiana.
What about something to fill up your party balloons? Helium is a gas. No doubt, this is the kind of sign that the kids in the town of Tipton love to point out and laugh at.
Hope You’re Hungry
Picking a name for your restaurant can be tough sometimes. Most people go with something like the founder of the store – like McDonald’s – or the founder’s daughter – which is how we got Wendy’s. Then there are your characters, like Popeye’s, Burger King, or Dairy Queen.
And then there are some places that take a different route entirely, such as this restaurant, which is called “Lick-A-Chick.” We shouldn’t really be surprised to find out that this chain isn’t exactly national since it probably attracts the wrong kind of clientele.
Get Them While They’re Young
When parents are driving kids around, they have to be in control of the vehicle at all times. If the kids had the wheel, they’d be pulling through every drive-through they could, especially those that dish out delicious treats like a Dairy Queen.
The sign attached to this advertisement not only has the phone number for the store but a tip for the kids – scream! Scream for ice cream! Scream until your parents have no choice but to stop and get everybody a blizzard.
Keep it Down
It looks like this establishment is tired of the police showing up every time someone tries their frozen treats. If you want a cup or cone, please try to fill your mouth with ice cream before you start screaming.
This ice- cream tastes so good; this sign tries to tell us that once you eat some, the only thought on your mind will be the next bite and not screaming, hopefully. People come here grumpy, but they leave happy – as long as there are no cops involved.
You Aren’t Fooling Anybody, PJ
Papa John’s Pizza says a lot of things these days that are actually lies, such as claiming that they sell pizza and not old cardboard with old shredded yellow crayon on top. At the top of the heap of falsehoods, however, is the idea that their dough is actually fresh.
This sign takes it another step further, claiming that they can even beat the Fresh Prince himself, Will Smith, in a contest of freshness. Please, John, your “dough” couldn’t beat a sack of rusty Model T bumpers when it came to freshness, much less Will Smith.
Mmm, Thirteen-Year-Old Burritos
In this economy, a restaurant that turns thirteen is, in fact, a cause for celebration. The eatery biz is a tough one, with new places to eat popping up all over the place and old ones shutting down because they just can’t attract any more mouths.
“Flaming Amy’s Burrito Barn” not only has a unique and memorable name, but it’s been around for thirteen years, according to this sign, which means they’re about to get WILD. You might think it’s bad when a person turns thirteen, heads off to high school, and starts to change as a person, but you’ve never seen a restaurant go through its teen years.
To Serve Man
This is the kind of sign that gets the restaurant trending, but not exactly for the right reason. Of course, the sign wants you to eat there…but what’s that they’re serving? Ah. Well. Maybe uh… I’m not really into that sort of thing. I mean, certainly, I’m sure they taste good. You wouldn’t broadcast that sort of offer without getting the recipes perfect.
Uh, hey officer, could you go in and ask to talk to Jessica? Maybe ask a few questions? Ask about the kids? Yeah, because…yeah. The sign. Of course, that’s just the name of the restaurant probably. Probably. Please just be the name.
Quick, Write it Down!
El Arroyo has done something incredible – they’ve actually given us some sort of information about their restaurant with their sign. It is, of course, part of a stupid joke that they made because they want people to take pictures and get the word out, but we can at least surmise that this Texas restaurant sells Tex-Mex.
The sign is true: no one wants a small taco. But what kind of taco? Chicken? Beef? Are there fish tacos? Maybe a special mixture with just the right combo of rice, cheese, guacamole, and tomato?
Just as Full as You Will be at El Arroyo
A Russian doll, a Babushka, is actually the Polish and Russian word for old woman or grandmother. It is a common sight in Europe but not as popular here. You open it up, and there’s a smaller version of it inside. Keep opening them, and you’ll find smaller and smaller versions until you get down to minuscule.
And this oh-so-witty El Arroyo sign brings the yuks by making it seem like the dolls are prideful. It’s funny if you know what a Russian doll is, but, yet again, it still doesn’t tell us what they’re selling at El Arroyo.
Just Pick Already
We’re going to let you know upfront: you’re going to see a lot of El Arroyo signs, so get used to them. This sign focuses on the difficulty that a lot of people have in picking a place to eat, especially couples. But like all of these El Arroyo signs, it gets you thinking.
If you and your beloved can find a place you both like to eat quickly, you can be sure your compatibility score is higher than most. And we have to give El Arroyo credit because at least this sign has to do with restaurants.
Eat Here or Else
Ah yes. The best way to get people to eat at your restaurant: a threat. This sign has cut to the quick of the matter when it says you need to stop and your money, so they can then turn around and spend that money to buy their own food.
The sign is punchy and gets its message across in a mere seven words. Of course, they are trying to make us forgot that we can make food on our own.
Cheese it; it’s the Cops
El Arroyo yet again. They’re doing their best to bring in the eyes and ears of the populace with yet another clever sign, this one anthropomorphizing dogs who spot K-9 units on the street.
It will make you laugh when you stop in for some of, we assume, El Arroyo’s good food, but once again, it tells us nothing about the restaurant, its prices, its deals, or what kind of food it sells.
Deserves Another Look
At first glance, this sign looks like it’s saying something quite mean about the food that the restaurant is serving. However, a smart combo of wordplay from another language and a nod to famous recording artist Snoop Dogg creates a restaurant name that is memorable, funny and gets you hungry for some hot and tasty Vietnamese soup.
Creating a sign that not only talks about what kind of food you serve but brings a chuckle as well as is a winner in our book, and with the addition of some bubble tea and other Vietnamese food, this small restaurant seems like a winner.
Two Out of Three
Creating a good product can take time. The restaurant that hung up this sign knows that and much more, and now so do you. There are three ways to get your food when you want it from a restaurant or a fast-food place. You can either pay out the nose for tasty food that arrives when you want, wait a long while to save on some of your favorite food, or tough out a messed-up dish if you need some cheap grub quickly.
Trying to choose which option you truly want is sure to slow you down, but this is more to help temper expectations – if you want something good, be prepared to either wait or pay for it.
Philosophical Thoughts from El Arroyo
El Arroyo has some incredible signs that you’ll see throughout this article, and this one gives the passer-by pause. The Austin-based restaurant has gone from dad puns to cheeky jokes, and now they give us something to really think about as we stop in to enjoy some of their food.
People must really like El Arroyo’s food if they have this much time to think about what exactly clapping is and isn’t, but we have to admit the sign brings up an interesting point. El Arroyo loves these kinds of things because before you know it, you’ve been staring at the sign for an hour and need something to eat.
Better Check the Calendar Again, Fellas
Plenty of restaurants pride themselves on the fact that they stay open for six days a week, or even seven, but only one restaurant has the gumption, the nerve, and the chutzpah to stay open eight days a week and stay closed on Sundays!
We do wonder what kind of food they’re slinging – is it incredible future food that has stepped over the bounds of time to shift our very nature? Maybe the sign creators are just stupid. It could be either one.
This was a lovely idea, to raise some money for a worthy cause, but something got jumbled along the way. Although we all wish we could eradicate childhood diabetes, getting into fistfights with young sufferers is probably not the way to do it.
The point they wanted to make is obvious, but they really should have had someone else look this over before they rushed out to print the signs. On a more positive note, a Christmas bazaar and craft show sounds lovely and an excellent place to get some holiday shopping done!