The Reason Doomsday Preppers Carry Lipstick

In the event of a doomsday scenario, you’ll want to have your lipstick on you at all times. It’s not just so you can kiss your sorry butt goodbye, though. Lipstick actually has a surprising amount of practical uses in the right hands, or on the right lips. 

Most importantly, if the lipstick you carry is petroleum-based, it can be used as a fire starter, like a real life version of the Prodigy song. SuperPrepper.com tells us that cutting a small chunk off and rubbing it on your tinder and kindling will be a sure fire way to ensure your fire grows higher. But wait! There’s more. Lipstick can also be an effective sunblock. Many lipsticks are specifically made with sunblock, but even without, the dark pigment alone is enough to merit some protection from the post-apocalyptic Sun’s extra-strength rays. You’ll also look like a totally fabulous badass

Even more amazing things doomsday preppers can do with lipstick

SuperPrepper also points out that since lipstick is waterproof and smudgeproof, it makes a great tool for leaving messages, like “Send Help,” or “No Survivors.” Or you can use it to draw still lifes of the cans of peaches stacked high in your fallout shelter. The waterproof aspect can also be used to protect items you may need from the rain, so long as you don’t mind them looking a little more rouge than usual.

Lipstick is also an effective lubricant, even if it’s not petroleum-based. When the zombies are chasing you and the engine isn’t starting, you’ll wish you’d kept the Revlon. Lastly, we’ve all seen how quickly post-apocalyptic societies develop new forms of currency and value. Goods are bartered for, which Investopedia points out is the oldest, and in many ways, most reliable form of commerce.

Given the multipurpose nature of lipstick, it would likely be a valuable commodity in a bartering economy, especially considering a lipstick container itself would be valuable for storage. Apparently you can also use an empty tube to make a flashlight.

So hunker down in your bunker and pucker up, sucker.

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