In what’s being hailed as a moment of triumph for those of us who were going to show up stoned anyway and a virtual guarantee that nobody will have to take home any leftover bean dip, workplaces around the U.S. are hiring marijuana dispensaries to cater their holiday parties.
Just a decade ago, it would’ve seemed like madness to think that any job would ring in the new year by getting Carol from HR high enough to laugh at those Peyton Manning Nationwide commercials, but then again, life is what happens when you’re making other plans. But with eleven states and Washington D.C. currently, in legal parlance, “totes down with the herb,” corporate events are starting to become a staple of the cannabis dealing community.
As reported by The Daily Beast, “cannabars” have been drumming up business in places like Denver, Seattle, and Boston, offering workplace packages that include smokable, edible, and drinkable methods of making your coworkers talk about Radiohead.
Joining hands over joints
Bec Koop, a cannabis event coordinator, was quoted as saying basically what you’d imagine someone who organizes office party smoke outs would say: “cannabis is a common denominator across all demographics—East Coast, West Coast, rich, poor, white, black, gay, straight; it brings people together.”
While this is good news for anyone hoping to have the plot of Hereditary explained to them in long, run on sentences, it’s taking a bite out of booze sales, as dispensaries warn against mixing your traditional Christmas eggnog bender with the newly legal workplace Scooby Snacks. Organizers interviewed discussed the potential hazards of crossfading, advising caution against intermingling these two great tastes that taste great together.
And at the risk of sounding like we have a petition for you to sign at the farmer’s market, isn’t that a good thing? Are office parties really better for having the tech guy get handsy, low key racist, and then throw up behind the reception desk? Perhaps a world full of coworkers who forego the shots in favor of getting stoney baloney is a world we can all get behind.
Plus, like, hemp makes such strong rope.
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