Locker rooms look, smell, and taste terrible. Yet somehow they make you feel comfortable enough to change clothes in front of sweaty humans and moist cockroaches. The individuals who use these rooms may differ in degrees of flabbiness and athlete’s-footedness, but they can all take solace in knowing that no matter how shamefully out-of-shape or embarrassingly fungal they are, only the putrid people around them will see their grossness. That is, unless a creep discreetly films them through a peephole.

Between 2012 and 2016 a creepy Michigan man manifested his grossness by filming underage athletes in locker rooms. Per the Washington Post, varsity crew coach Timothy Vallier made roughly 100 videos of Rockford High School’s female rowers disrobing. He masked his nastiness with success, helping the very girls he violated become the eighth-best rowing team in the nation.

The coach’s dark deeds came to light thanks to two Rockford High graduates who helped run the rowing team. According to MLive, the pair uncovered incriminating videos in Vallier’s vehicle. An ensuing police investigation revealed that the once-trusted trainer had drilled spyholes into the locker rooms of two separate buildings and exploited at least 62 girls.

The loathsome betrayal rocked Rockford High’s rowers. The girls went from winning competitions to losing their ability to trust, and Vallier rightfully lost his freedom. A Michigan court sentenced him to 22 years behind bars. 

When the Grim Reaper asks you out, it’s almost impossible to say no. So you might as well go out in style. That’s where funeral homes come in. If you’re lucky … well, you won’t die in the first place. But if you’re unlucky, the funeral home will make you so snazzy that Death will die from your killer good looks. If you’re super-duper unlucky, your looks will be overlooked because of the funeral home’s image issues.

Chicago’s Smith and Thomas Funeral Homes presented itself as “The people who cared.” In 2014 it seemed at least one of those people cared about the wrong things. As WGN described, workers at the company’s West Side branch received an ugly surprise when someone discovered a camera in a unisex employee bathroom. Police later confirmed the find, marking the first time bodies weren’t the creepiest part of a funeral parlor.

The last thing you want when chilling with cadavers all day is for a ghoul to haunt your pooping ground. No one would say whether that ghoul could be a ghost, but that’s probably because nobody asked. The funeral home owner wouldn’t say anything about the incident, despite being asked to comment. Receptionist Eunice Young, however, did have something to say: “I feel violated.”

As we’ve previously pointed out, renting a stranger’s place can blow up your face like a punctured balloon. Various Airbnb guests have had their rubber bubbles burst by marauding monkeys, malicious junkies, and every other unthinkable thing you can think of. For one married couple, that unthought-of thing was a smoke detector.

In 2017, Indiana resident Derek Starnes and his wife rented a condo in Longboat Key, Florida. Their trip took a wrong turn when things got weird in the bedroom. Something about the smoke alarm alarmed them. Per The Sun-Sentinel, they spotted a black hole in the machine. This particular black hole didn’t suck, but the thing it hid did. Starnes and his wife were being filmed, which understandably “freaked [them] out.” Hopefully they retaliated by mooning the smoke alarm with cigarette butts.

Airbnb host Wayne Natt had some serious explaining to do. He had equipped his condo’s smoke detectors with cameras he could control remotely, and police discovered “numerous recordings.” Hoping to avoid jail time, Natt provided a perfectly unreasonable defense. He claimed to like recording raunchy parties at his home -– with his guests’ permission of course. That’s why he concealed  the cameras rather than leaving them out for attendees to see, right?

The excuse had serious shortcomings. Besides being stupid, it couldn’t explain why he filmed the Starnses without their permission. Authorities arrested Natt for video voyeurism. Once Airbnb caught wind of the incident, it banned him.

Carnivals and cruises contain the best and worst things life has to offer. Carnivals present you with the gift of cotton candy and the curse of clowns. Cruises fill your days with luxury and your lungs with pathogens. Logically, Carnival Cruise Line’s cruises should provide boatloads of extravagant cotton candy and coughing clowns. But for one Florida family, a Carnival cruise brought grief.

It wasn’t good grief like Charlie Brown has or the bad grief you’d feel if your favorite beagle died. It was the grief of feeling harmed and helpless. As the Miami New Times described, in 2017 a married couple and their 10-year-old son were on a cruise ship headed to Mexico when something fishy caught their attention. The dad had an allergy attack, which prompted the family to search their cabin for a cause. Much to their dismay, they found a bunch of dust and a camera behind the TV that was “warm to the touch.”

The parents had a shudder-worthy worry. Had some unseen onlooker seen their son’s bare body? Were images of him stored somewhere? The Carnival crew’s response wasn’t reassuring. A crewmember inspected the camera without gloves, possibly obscuring fingerprint evidence. Staff steadfastly asserted the device didn’t work and baselessly guessed that the last guest left it. A Carnival spokesman claimed cops were contacted, but the family never received updates. The father drew a gloomy conclusion: When crimes occur on cruise ships, justice is lost at sea.

Health professionals invert the natural order of things. Surgeons heal patients by cutting them. Pharmacists immunize you from illnesses by injecting you with diseases. Saving injured limbs from amputation costs an arm and a leg. Sometimes those inversions get vile, like when cardiologist Vincent Pacienza used a purifier for impure purposes.

Per the district attorney of Nassau County, New York, in 2008 Pacienza executed a multi-pronged plot to peek at people’s nether regions. He closed one of two available restrooms at his private practice, making patients and coworkers share a single toilet. At the heart of the cardiologist’s con was an air purifier he put in the remaining restroom. Seemingly a thoughtful way to reduce methane inhalation, it actually served as a spy cam.

According to court documents, the purifier sat at toilet-seat level, giving Pacienza a turd’s-eye view of female coworkers and patients as they did their doo diligence. The apparatus wirelessly transmitted footage to the doctor’s desk, presumably so he wouldn’t have to distract himself with life-saving while at work. Then again, urine tests can help diagnose heart failure, so he could have had patients tinkle for his pleasure while simultaneously performing a health assessment.

Pacienza’s devious doings were undone by an invoice for the surveillance equipment. A coworker found it and contacted law enforcement. A judge prescribed 45 days in jail plus five years’ probation. Given how sick the doctor was, he had no choice but to take his medicine.