Consider Him Well-Done
Neil deGrasse Tyson is an astronomer and scientist that is known in two ways. He’s either a smart, witty hero for science, or he’s an annoying pedant who sucks all the joy out of everything he sees, touches, or mentions. Well, “Steak-umm” is firmly in the second camp.
After one too many Tweets from Tyson about how pointless New Year’s Day is, or mindless facts that are supposedly “mind-blowing,” they gave Tyson a piece of their mind. Learning that a couple of words can be rearranged to spell some other words might be noteworthy, but mind-blowing? Not exactly.
Trying to Get Those Digits
For some reason, Felipe doesn’t like Tesco Mobile. We don’t know why, but it actually turns him off if a gal uses it. Maybe they just have the best prices, Felipe. We all have some random hangups about brands, so we aren’t going to throw too many stones, but Tesco Mobile themselves was ready with a response.
Their comeback was so rough we have to imagine that Felipe spent the rest of the day lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Hopefully, he took the lesson he just learned and used it to become a better person.
When Networks Fight
It seems almost mean to drag “The Big Bang Theory” into this fight. The show might be a bit lowest-common-denominator, but it can still be funny. And yet, it’s caught between BBC Three and E4 on Twitter during Easter.
BBC Three cast some shade on E4 for showing boring episodes on a sleeping Sunday afternoon. It seems like BBC Three should have made sure they were showing anything at all, but E4 was happy enough to point that fact out. Hard to be more boring than a blank screen. We’d love to see if this beef has expanded beyond this.
That’s a Good Point, Honestly
This little bit of brand-against-brand beef got started when Old Spice questioned Taco Bell’s fire sauce. No, that sauce isn’t actually made with fire, because…that’s not how sauces work. The Bell was quick with a comeback, pointing out that Old Spice probably doesn’t use old spices in their products. Also true, though it’s a lot closer to the truth.
Nowadays deodorants and body sprays are chemicals, but back in the day, they might have actually used spices. At least Old Spice makes people smell good, which is not the kind of thing Taco Bell can brag about.
The Harvest Has Been Good This Year
Wendy’s has one of the hottest accounts Twitter’s ever seen, with sharp shots at detractors and tight Tweets pumping their products. Anybody who comes at them had better bring their best, which Cooper Franklin seemed to have forgotten.
He thinks that Wendy’s square burgers seem too artificial, and we bet it didn’t take any time at all for the social media geniuses to clap back. Every single hamburger patty is formed artificially. You could get a patty in the shape of anything, up to and including things like this tweet, so we can swallow it just like Cooper Franklin did.
And Get a Real Name Next Time
A brand that has emerged recently as a hard sell on Twitter is MoonPie. Just in case you don’t know, a Moon Pie is a wafer sandwich with marshmallows inside and covered in chocolate. Sounds pretty good. But, somebody named…Sigurbj ö rn L á Russon (Cripes!) thinks that the person running this account is wasting their life.
This ignores the obvious, but Moon Pie was plenty happy to point it out. We’ve all made fun of brands online, but if you’re doing it on a Saturday night instead of enjoying a night on the town, maybe you need to look inward.
They Both Start With B
With the most personal victories in the NFL ever, Tom Brady is going to be remembered as the most successful player of all time. Still, he can’t do everything. Case in point, this good-natured burn that Butterfinger sent his way after he dropped a trick play pass in one of his many Super Bowls.
He can command the field from the pocket, but he just doesn’t have the hands to be a receiver. Butterfinger knew they had a golden opportunity with this slip-up on the big stage.
Asking the Wrong People
For some reason, Devon Peacock decided to ask Wendy’s how much the famous sandwich from their competitor would cost. Wendy’s didn’t mince words. Ever since the focus landed on their social media account, they’ve been able to deliver the hard truths to people without having to worry about bad press.
Walking into the golden arches might only cost a few bucks out of your wallet, but it will cost you much more when it comes down to it. And another thing – why did Devon decide to ask this to Wendy’s? What did he expect? An actual number?
Just Call Her
It looks like the original post on Twitter that “Chilly P” made was tongue-in-cheek, but that didn’t stop the Royal Mail from striking back with a crushing blow.
On the seventeenth of June, he stated that he still hadn’t received any Valentine’s Day cards. If it’s taken you that long, we don’t think any are coming, dude. The Royal Mail Twitter account took it one step further, assuming that the only woman who would send one to Chilly was the woman who gave birth to him. Cold, Royal Mail. That’s cold. It’s hilarious, but it’s cold.
They Might Need More Than a Snickers
When the JCPenney Twitter account posted a hilariously misspelled tweet back in 2014, lots of people jumped on the train of mocking the brand. Really, we can’t blame them. It looked like it was typed by a person with three fingers and zero spellchecks.
Spellcheck, people! It’s useful. Snickers joined in the fun, offering the department store a bar of their famous chocolate. We’re a little worried about the person behind this tweet. Can anybody confirm he or she is okay? The warning signs were there – watching baseball is a classic signal that somebody is losing higher brain functions.
Don’t Speak to Your Mother’s Cell Service Like That
Tesco Mobile has the stereotype of being cheap and bad. That’s why they get so many comments like this one, which “Mr. Joe Lee” put on Twitter. Even though he didn’t tag them, Tesco Mobile had a comeback ready to go.
They insinuated that maybe Mr. Joe Lee should work on his relationship with his mom, and not spend all his time attacking brands on Twitter. Yeah, that’s a pretty good idea overall. Try sending her a letter, that might work, as long as the Royal Mail isn’t acting up again.
Disrespectful Is One Word For It
The picture you see as part of this tweet is someone dipping her Pop-Tart into a bowl of ranch dressing. The Pop-Tart Twitter account shows up to call it “disrespectful,” but that isn’t exactly the word we would choose to describe it.
Something more along the lines of “stomach-churning,” “unholy,” or “illegal” has a better ring. “CTaylor” on Twitter crossed a line, and the army of Pop-Tart fans across the globe will be looking out for her. And what if she’s right, and people in Oklahoma regularly do this dirty deed? Then it’s time to invade, that’s what.
Too Much Work Went Into This
Smart Cars are tiny vehicles that can hold up to two people. Due to their tiny size, they’re often mocked, and “Clayton Hove” on Twitter brought out one of the old gems to give his followers a chuckle.
The “Official Smart USA” account gave him a response that looks more like a science project than a social media post. Inside the picture it included, it pointed out that it would take something like four-point-five million pigeons to wreck a Smart Car. How they figured that out is beyond us, and no, we don’t want to know.
There are lots of examples of brands smacking down smack-talking buyers, or companies going toe-to-toe, but what about two entirely unrelated brands having fun on social media? That’s the case here, as fan-favorite MoonPie gets a pic from Monterey Bay Aquarium, stating that they know where the gooey, mushy marshmallow filling comes from.
The two brands then get in a back and forth about jellyfish anatomy. They don’t have brains or hearts, or really much of anything. Also, they aren’t made of marshmallows or even jelly, so don’t try to eat them. It won’t work out well for you.
Looking for Love in Very Wrong Places
Every person on Earth needs some love in their life, but when “Sunil Das Sharma” tweeted at Old Spice, he should have known he wasn’t going to get the kind of response he wanted. The company that makes your man smell like those other men (or whatever it is) told Sharma to head to the place where all the most desperate eventually end up: Tinder.
We aren’t sure if the advice helped, but Sharma can take comfort from the fact that Old Spice responded to his tweet pretty quickly.
Can’t Dethrone the Queen
We all have different opinions when it comes to who slings the best fast-food burgers, but unless it’s Wendy’s they’re wrong. Quick with a joke, Wendy’s has become one of the more popular choices thanks to social media.
When IHOP (International House of Pancakes) made a dramatic shift toward selling more than just breakfast food, some people thought Wendy’s was throwing in the towel. But what is an ant to a lion, Wendy’s says. We have to admit that they have a point. Burgers aren’t the most complicated things in the world, but they probably take more work than flapjacks.
We love it when two people we hate are fighting. No matter who loses, we win. Conan took a shot at Netflix’s collection of original shows and movies, and then Netflix pointed out the man has more than a thousand episodes of his show.
The problem with this is that each of those is an episode, not an entire movie or show. Additionally, Conan has the last laugh, as most of the original content Netflix pumps out is forgettable at best.
Never Give Them a Chance
The best part about this is that Wendy’s didn’t even go full-bore with this user, even though he stuck his nose into their innocuous tweet. They gave “Thuggy-D” plenty of chances to slip away with his pride intact, but no. He had to keep pushing.
There are things called refrigerators that keep things cold, but not frozen. This was all the way back in 2016. Maybe it was the beginning of when Wendy’s decided that people who act like this on social media don’t get a chance. Take them down as soon as they poke their heads around the corner.
Don’t Tell Anybody
Taco Bell is one of those places where you either hate or love. And that’s exactly the way they like it if this picture is any indication. Somebody on Twitter named “Stop the Illuminati” discovered something about the Taco Bell logo, and Taco Bell was all too willing to play along.
We don’t know what those things on the bottom right are, but they look good. We wonder if “Stop the Illuminati” discovers this sort of interesting fact in more than a few places. Look, man, just because something is vaguely triangular does not make it an Illuminati reference.
Your Famous Wrestler of Choice
When Twitter user “October Jones” got his chicken sandwich from Sainsbury’s, he found it wasn’t to his liking. He stated that it tasted like it was beaten to death by wrestler Hulk Hogan. How did it taste like that? We are unsure. Sainsbury’s apologized and stated it will replace Hogan with Ultimate Warrior for future chicken pummeling opportunities.
Obviously, that will be a huge improvement. For some reason. Actually, are we sure that “October Jones” DIDN’T like his sandwich? Maybe he enjoyed the personal touch that Mr. Hogan added to the process. We at least know that it was tenderized.
We Don’t Know What is Going on Here
Call in the experts. Someone named “Immy ‘BADMAN’ Bugti” sent the brand Argos Helpers a tweet that we believe is actually in English, but we can’t make heads or tails of it. Something about a video game? Or something about a store?
What is Argos Helpers, even? Argos is, apparently, a store. It might be a department store. At the very least, it’s in England, which helps to explain why this tweet conversation makes zero sense whatsoever. The call elevators “lifts.” If anybody has any idea what they’re trying to say here, let us know.
Short and Sweet
This comeback doesn’t take a whole lot of thought. But Tesco chose to focus on Sainsbury’s, which seems to be some kind of competition to whatever market space Tesco Mobile is operating in. Twitter user “Jacobmcd15” asked for a joke from the mobile company (for some reason), and Tesco Mobile responded quickly.
Sainsbury’s must be an inside joke across the pond since they’re just a supermarket, and Tesco Mobile is, as you might imagine, a company that provides cell service. What’s up with Sainsbury’s? Why is it the butt of the joke?
When it Comes to Pokemon, Size Matters
It looks like GameStop is (or was) branching out from video game consoles into huge stuffed animals. One commenter on Facebook pointed out that the model cuddling with the stuffed Snorlax appears to be quite small in order to make the stuffed animal look bigger. GameStop had a certain comeback that we aren’t going to explain, but if you get it, you get it.
The person who originally commented doesn’t seem to make an appearance again, so hopefully, they decided his time was better spent doing something other than attacking companies on Facebook. It wasn’t even Twitter! Shameful!
Taking the Shot
There’s something called “Kiss a ginger day,” because otherwise apparently they’d get no love whatsoever. Jimmy Johns and Wendy’s, though they both sell sandwiches, seem to be getting pretty friendly if this Twitter conversation is any indication.
Wendy’s wasn’t having any of it for a while, pointing out that Jimmy Johns has – gasp – two first names! JJ turned the tables on the redhead by reminding her that Wendy’s last name is Thomas. Wendy’s had to admit there was a good point there. Then, either the conversation died out…or it moved offline. We know which one seems more likely.
Leeds United and Pizza Hut got into a little spat after a few tweets went back and forth. We don’t have all the info, but it looks like Pizza Hut tweeted first, Leeds (in case you didn’t know, that’s a sports team. Either soccer or football depending on where you live) then responded saying they preferred Dominos since it doesn’t take as long for them to deliver something as simple as a tweet.
Pizza Hut wasn’t having any of that, pointing out that Leeds has not made a timely delivery for almost thirty years. Crushing. Well, they still have their Dominos.
He’s the Real King
If you have any idea what Burger King is supposed to be saying, give us a ring. A carrier pigeon. A smoke signal. Anything. Because we don’t know. We also suspect that even Burger King doesn’t know what they’re saying.
This looks like the kind of thing that gets tweeted when you lose your phone in the bottom of a ball pit. A mistake or just an attention-grabbing gimmick. We sincerely hope it’s the latter.
Get Him Again!
If making fun of Neil deGrasse Tyson isn’t an Olympic sport, it should be. Anyway, “Armageddon” is a movie that plays it fast and loose with how the world actually works, and plenty of people know this. NdGT also knows it, and he wants to make sure everyone else knows that he knows it, too.
Despite people enjoying the movie, Tyson was all set to tear it a new one, but it wasn’t on Netflix. Netflix heard his whining, added the movie, and let him know that he could now ruin it for everyone.
All Your Own Fault
Somebody on Twitter decided the person he should complain to about being late is the entire London Overground. Maybe it was the Overground’s fault, but they aren’t going to take that kind of sass from this Twitter guy.
They, very rightly, told him to figure out a way to get there on time unless he wanted to lose his pay. No doubt Daniel was mad about the trains being late, or something like that, but it’s easier to blame something which can’t be fixed instead of his bad timing.
If McDonald’s Can Do It…
Yeah, breakfast food. Lots of places sell it because it’s simple and most people like it. And while Taco Bell might not have the best reputation in terms of food quality, they can probably figure it out. When Taco Bell made the announcement they were going to slide in McDonald’s market space, it was on.
But the golden arches weren’t fazed – they saw it as the Bell looking up to the kings of the fast-food court. The clown has been the leader in breakfast food for a long time, but competition is always a good thing for customers.
There Are Plenty of Hiding Spots
A conversation bloomed between everyone’s favorite chocolate cookies and a theater chain. Why? Well, it’s because Oreo got things started with a tweet that talked about good ways to sneak their cookies into movie theaters. AMC got involved, promising to root out any hidden packages of cookies upon a ticket-buying customer.
Oreo shot back, and the conversation continued from there. AMC was game, but we think the cookies have the advantage here – there are just too many places to hide them, and no theater worker is going to be that nosy.
Didn’t Even Have to Ford the River
If you were in school in the nineties, you’re probably familiar with the Oregon Trail video games, which has players finding their way across the prairies as a settler. It was done to increase knowledge of the era and what settlers had to go through, and a few running jokes have sprung up, including members of your family getting sick with dysentery.
Thankfully, Twitter user “Jason Cirillo” made it without getting sick thanks to JetBlue Airways, and JetBlue responded in kind, mentioning their snacks. They don’t carry much buffalo, though. It was all in good fun.
A Twitter user named “Marty Lawrence” tried to get himself some cod from his local Sainsbury’s, but he was out of luck. Sainsbury’s asked a question back to get more information and included a quick fish pun as a way to have some fun. Marty responded, slipping in his own pun, and things grew from there.
The tweets started to have less and less useful information about the store and started to focus more and more on puns, which is fine by us.
The Best Food Six Days a Week
Chick-fil-A is famous for its fine-tasting chicken products and its incredible customer service. They’re also famous for being closed on Sundays as a company-wide rule. They mentioned this would be the case even on Super Bowl Sunday, and Burger King jumped onto the tweet to reassure customers they would be open.
The chicken had a golden opportunity to hit Burger King hard. The King might be a market leader in the fast-food space, but Chick-fil-A is an up-and-comer that is going to be hard to ignore. Make the choice: a regular old hamburger, or a perfectly done chicken sandwich?
It Was the Obvious Choice
Eclipses are big events – depending on where you are around the world you can view them at exactly the same time as millions of other people. Brands love these opportunities to tweet about something relevant, but Hostess really missed the mark with this one.
They named their own cupcake snack the official snack cake of the eclipse, and MoonPie had a good laugh about it. There’s really no other choice to make when you’re thinking of a snack for an eclipse. It’s right there in the name.
Maybe YOU Should Learn to Cook
Here’s the thing about this interaction: Twitter user “Chris” is, technically, correct, but it doesn’t really matter. Hamburger Helper didn’t like the idea that their food wasn’t good enough, so they struck back in kind to Chris, pointing out that insults don’t make a husband very great, either.
Sometimes the guys need to cook, too. Everybody should know how to cook. Have a few recipes that you can whip out at any place or time and you’re way more likely to be attractive to anyone.
That’s a Big Penguin
The Discovery channel is all about learning new things, and they found out something pretty interesting thanks to the Pittsburgh Penguins, a hockey team.
The team stated that the average Pittsburgh Penguin grows to more than six feet. At the time they tweeted, the Penguins had been eliminated from the Stanley Cup Competition. Discovery made the point that they couldn’t see any penguins on the ice in Pittsburgh, which is a little painful. Reminding a sports team that they’ve failed in their quest for glory is quick, painful, and perfect to knock an uppity brand back down.
Just Eat Them Normally, People, Come On
There are two ways to eat Pop-Tarts. Cold and hot. Other than that, you’re out of luck, so please stop trying to come up with new ways to eat them.
No matter what you do, don’t put a slice of cheese between them and eat it like a sandwich. It’s disgusting and it’s disrespectful. How could that possibly taste good? Yeah, we get that this was kind of a meme, with different states coming up with stomach-turning ways to eat their Tarts, but it has gone too far. Maybe crumble a few on top of brownies. That sounds nice.
During the Long Cold Months
Wendy’s, Wendy’s, Wendy’s. We could do an entire article on just tweets from this burger-slinger as they take customers, haters, and other brands to the task. National Roast Day comes about only once a year, and it’s a real holiday for the restaurant.
Hooters, a restaurant with a certain famous uniform for their waitresses, stepped up to the plate. Wendy’s could have mentioned the sub-par food, the fact that Hooters seems to be the favorite of the lower classes or lots of other things. Instead, they quickly pointed out that anybody who works there must hate it when it snows.
We Guess It Was Obvious
It’s pretty fair to say that we act the same on the internet as we do in real life. And if you don’t…why not? Are you ashamed? Anyway, Twitter user “lucid billz” announced that he needed people to play Black Ops 3 with because no one plays it anymore.
Even though he didn’t mention the service or the Xbox at all, Microsoft Store stepped in to ask him how it had been going. He shot back with a frankly unnecessary crack at Xbox. Microsoft had the last laugh, however, wondering if maybe this guy’s attitude was part of the problem.
Let the Pizza Battles Begin
The forces of pizza are always at loggerheads. The two main sides are delivery versus frozen. A big blow was handed to the delivery option at Papa John’s from the frozen pizza brand DiGiorno Pizza, who changed their Twitter bio to mock Papa John’s Pizza.
The original slogan is “Better ingredients. Better pizza.” It’s rich coming from Papa John’s, who isn’t famous for its quality, and DiGiorno hit them where it hurts: their sales numbers. DiGiorno actually sells pizza, and not lies in a cardboard box, so obviously, they have the leg up on Papa John’s.
Not Taking it Lying Down
When DiGiorno Pizza changed their Twitter bio to mock Papa John’s Pizza you know the famous company wasn’t going to give up. Despite the fact that their pizza is awful, they changed their bio to mock frozen pizza as a whole and not just DiGiorno Pizza.
They said that frozen pizza is the less desirable option when it comes to pies, but there are plenty of people out there who would rather eat DiGiorno Pizza or any frozen pizza over Papa John’s Pizza. With the recent meltdown that Papa John’s has had, we think we can crown a winner of this contest.
And Everybody Had a Delicious Time
Kit Kats and Oreos might not sell exactly the same kind of treat, but they’re still pretty close. Kit Kats came up with a fun way to get the brands talking with a friendly game of tic-tac-toe, apparently in order to win the heart of the Twitter user who loved both brands.
Instead of playing their game the right way, Oreo decided instead to have a snack, ruining the game when it had barely gotten started. Did the brand give up, or was that just a high-level play to throw Kit Kat off their game?
When Carriers Fight
There are plenty of mobile carriers now, which is great for the consumer. Competition is a tenet of capitalism. It keeps prices low, forces companies to adapt, and gives consumers the power. Twitter user “Jay Rooney” got the best of this when he got AT&T to fight T-Mobile, casting shade on each other and trying to keep him on their side.
It seems as if Rooney has ended up on the side of T-Mobile since AT&T charges extra for overseas data. The jabs the brands sent to each other aren’t all that amazing, but watching them fight is always fun.
How to Embarrass a Cookie
We don’t know why, but Twitter user “Lisa Barone” decided to get all hot and heavy with a sandwich cookie on the internet. The Oreo account asked if Lisa Barone was in the right state of mind before offering any kind of response.
Miss Barone didn’t exactly say no, so the cookies took the high road and let the conversation fall away at that point. It’s tough being ghosted by someone you had a connection with, but being ghosted by a snack? That’s pretty rough. Next time, Lisa, chat at a snack that will chat back. Like, uh…Mike and Ikes?
Sometimes Things Change
When you sit down to play a game you remember from years ago, you’re never going to get the same experience. Twitter user “VELVEETA” discovered this with the original “Bioshock,” which came out in 2007. A mere five years later he booted it up again only to discover it just wasn’t the same.
He reached out on Twitter to Xbox Support, and Xbox came back with some hard truth. People change. Our experiences are colored by the feelings, things, and people around us. You can only play “Bioshock” for the first time once. Besides, “Infinite” is better.
Going Ham on Twitter
We all know what it’s like to try and get some cash out of the ATM and a ham sandwich in the way. No, wait, we don’t. Only one person in the world knows what that’s like, and it’s Twitter user “Boring_as_heck.”
A ham sandwich in the cash slot made his money all gammy, and apparently, nobody wanted to accept it. What to do? Tweet to the bank. We’d love to know more about this story. Who put the sandwich there, and why? Was anyone else’s money affected? How did they get the sandwich out?
Nothing Beats Fries in Frosties
McDonald’s has been around for about a century! We guess it makes sense that sometimes they don’t understand how things like computers or the internet or social media works, leading to this quick exchange. They posted a tweet without a link, and it quickly got plenty of traction for all the wrong reasons.
Our old friend Wendy’s is back to prove why she’s the best at the social media game. Apparently, if your favorite fast food comes from the golden arches you won’t be able to get ice cream or tweets the way you want them.
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