Aside from the Puppy Bowl, few non-football parts of the Super Bowl are more entertaining than the Super Bowl commercials. It’s the one time a year that broadcasters and advertisers join forces to create five billion-dollar, 30-second videos that make us fans collectively say, “Huh? These things can be entertaining? Why isn’t it like this all year?”
Now, with the magic of Youtube, we can actually get sneak previews and leaks of these humongoid ads before the game even happens! What’s even crazier? Some of them are actually featured as PREVIEWS … of commercials. Here are some of the best Super Bowl ads to watch for between snaps.
T-Mobile: unlimited love for the Biebs
If you’re a teenage girl, you’re probably rejoicing with glee after Justin Bieber’s surprise return to Instagram this weekend! You may not beliebe the words you’re reading right now, but we beliebe this unexpected account restoration, that conveniently occurred right before the Super Bowl, was no coincidence. Turns out, Biebs came back to Insta to promote his new Super Bowl ad! Even CNET considers the ad to be “oddly delightful,” and it could quite possibly even make a beliber out of you.
Justin Bieber, proud celebration expert, is here to promote T-Mobile’s new unlimited data plan, and he’s doing so with some of our favorite excessive celebrations in touchdown history. The obvious exception is Cam Newton’s Dab, which we’re guessing was conveniently replaced with Caveman Gronk’s “GRONK SPIKE!” Thanks to Gronk and his gronkiness, not to mention Bieber and his Biebertude, you’ll barely even miss the Dab after watching this ad one or two (thousand) times.
Busch beer: the amazing talking beer can
BUSCHHHHH is back! No, our hands didn’t fall asleep on the H key, this is how Busch beer chooses to sell their beverage now. Their new Super Bowl ad starts with a hunky new spokesman adorned in his finest red flannel, pulling a six-pack of his favorite beer out of a splashing stream. Next, he pops open one of his miracle cans and, when he does, the can actually speaks the word, “BUSCHHHHH.” For, like, thirty seconds. But Flannel Hunk suggests this noise is totally typical, which makes us wonder why he seems slightly embarrassed by it. You’d think he’d be used to it by now.
Real Busch cans don’t sassily whisper their own name, so if you want to recreate this one at your Super Bowl party, you’re just going to have to do it yourself. Let us know how quickly you’re asked to leave!
Tide: oh, Gronk, what CAN'T you do?
Rob Gronkowski may be playing the bench this Super Bowl, like he has for months as the result of a back injury, but here he is again, inventing new ways to make our hearts grow several sizes. Nope, we’re not talking about Gronk’s Party Ship (this time), but rather Gronk starring in this new Big Game ad for Tide.
Here, Gronk is running his own dry cleaning shop, where he makes an unexpected adjustment to the button-up shirt of one of his customers. Only this time, his customer just happens to be the hilarious Jeffrey Tambor, who isn’t quite pleased with Gronk’s choice of alteration. If you’re Gronk, you have a tendency to rip the sleeves off shirts, for obvious reasons. Unfortunately, this look isn’t for everyone: not even the gun-shy George Bluth, Sr.
Nintendo: think Xbox is the best? Prepare to SWITCH
The Nintendo Switch is what would happen if the Wii had a baby with an Xbox One, in a world where electronics could do such things. Only in this scenario, the infant console would greatly surpass all that came before it, like the kind of mythology generally reserved for the ancient Greeks.
This new ad highlights the broadest target audience since the invention of the UGG boot. Young, old, man, woman, hardcore gamer, casual part-timer — everyone has something they can do on the Switch. Play Zelda like you classically do? Go ahead. Use the detachable sensors to sword-fight your buddies? Go ahead. Play Mario Kart with the hipster across the cafe? Do it. Wanna race a bunch of kids all over the world? Do that too!
Nintendo released the extended version of this ad just in time for you to check it out before the Super Bowl. Do yourself a favor and check it out. Just make sure your Xbox doesn’t get too jealous.
84 Lumber: of walls and fences
84 Lumber released their first-ever Super Bowl ad … which was quickly rejected by Fox for its “controversial subject matter,” namely a border wall. Yeah. That thing.
In the original ad, a young girl and her mother travel through the Mexican desert, around a harrowing border wall and straight into our hearts. Sources at 84 Lumber claim they’d been working on this project for months, intending it as a welcoming message to the tired and/or huddled masses looking to enter the American workforce (they’ve got 400 job openings! They’re going fast!)
Unfortunately for Lumber, Fox had a different vision, one which did NOT include a border wall. And since Fox runs the Super Bowl ship, they got their way. You’ll still see the ad during the game, but when you do, there will be no wall — just a far-less-imposing barbed wire fence. The point remains, however: you want to come here and do honest work to help your family? This is America, and we welcome you to do so. We also welcome you to check the wall-heavy original version on 84 Lumber’s website, premiering around Halftime. It’s something to peruse while Lady Gaga’s busy changing into her meat suit.
Budweiser: America welcomes all
This year, Budweiser decided to lose the puppies and Clydesdales and dopey dads — instead they, as the kids say, “got woke.”
While we buzz about immigration, voting, and the most controversial election in recent history, Anheuser-Busch takes the high road, with this poignant historical ad that’s more than just a commercial. These thirty seconds (or minute, depending on where you’re watching) reminds us that, without immigrants, we wouldn’t have Budweiser.
The ad features the history of Anheuser-Busch’s inception in the early years of the 20th century, because yeah, Anheuser and Busch were real people, and guess what? They were immigrants. America is the result of a ton of immigrants getting together and overcoming impossible obstacles to achieve their American dreams. Even if you don’t like Budweiser (we’re all about that Guinness ourselves), you gotta pour one out for immigration, freedom, opportunity, and what America is truly all about.
Avocados from Mexico: Avocados! Brilliant! Thank yaw!
What do you get when you combine the creepy propaganda film from Zoolander, and Jon Lovitz? Avocados from Mexico! That totally makes sense!
In this bit of surreal nightmare fuel masquerading as a commercial, Lovitz transcends direct advertising strategies, instead appearing in a hypnotic circle made of mesmerizing green tones, chanting at us about how delicious avocados are, with his scary Mephistopheles eyes not averting their intense gaze for even one second. Sure, we get it, Lovitz, avocados are delicious! You didn’t need to remind us! Especially not in … this way.
Luckily, this is only a teaser of what’s to come, as about a dozen Skeevy Lovitz Heads warn us, “see you in the first quarter.” That’s right — Lovitz might be even creepier during the game! So if the next time you try to eat guacamole and the dip starts yelling about how your chip-dipping style “stinks,” blame Jon.
Febreze: the Halftime Bathroom Break
Like the age-old classic children’s book advises, there’s one thing that unites all Americans, regardless of age, race, sex, sexual orientation, or Pokemon Go team: everybody poops! But on Super Bowl Sunday, when does everyone poop? During Halftime! (Or when your team starts losing.) Problem is, everybody’s poop stinks. Luckily, Febreze will, as the ad promises, be there for you to make your pre-Gaga bathroom run a little less nasally offensive.
This extended version of the ad that will air on Sunday details every place setting, every glorious natural landscape you’re missing, every bite leading up to your Super Bowl pool drop-off, and every splendiferous whiff of Febreze that will leave your loo smelling like you never besmirched it with your odorous presence. Too much booze and junk food laden with ten marathons’ worth of calories are no match for Febreze and the power of lavender scent.
Yellowtail: ain't no party like a Kangaroo party
It’s a Yellowtail party! And just as you’d expect, there’s a kangaroo grilling meats, and a cheery Aussie decked out like Dayman, hitting on supermodel Ellie Gonsalves by asking her to touch his kangaroo. Chicks dig the roo.
What’s even weirder: Yellowtail is wine. Yep, for the first time since the ’80s, the Super Bowl — known mainly for fans guzzling beer from kickoff to final whistle — will feature a wine ad. This one promises, “If you see a kangaroo at a party, it’s a good party!” We’re not so sure about that. Kangaroos aren’t really friendly, and their kicks can give you brain damage. Though if you see an anthropomorphic kangaroo serving drinks, you might already have brain damage. Besides, wine + Ellie Gonsalves = awesome party anyway, giant grillmaster marsupial or not.
The world's first live Super Bowl commercial
Not too long ago, in a galaxy pretty close by, actually, Snickers came up with a brilliant new advertising strategy that would obliterate the Dark Side of the competition. The Force is strong with the chocolaty peanuty candy gods, who plan to revolutionize the Super Bowl advertising game in debuting the first-ever completely live commercial.
According to the video sneak peek, the commercial will star Adam “Kylo Ren” Driver, and now our Star Wars puns make perfect sense. The commercial promises to deliver a story where Driver, joined by “other less famous actors,” have some kind of showdown involving horses, and … stuff (they’re kinda winging the whole premise, it sounds like). Then there’s the one lucky actor desperately seeking the role of his life: “Dead Cowboy.” How does Cowboy get dead? Lightsaber, probably. But to be 100% sure, we’ll have to wait for the game to find out!
Skittles: romance the rainbow
Skittles tells a new kind of love story in their ad. It condenses all the drama of Romeo and Juliet into 30 perfect seconds, only nobody dies AND we get the lovable Skittles gopher!
The story begins with a young star-crossed lover trying to get the attention of his girlfriend by throwing Skittles into her bedroom. You have to admit, that’s a pretty great idea! It’d work on us, anyway. The young woman catches each flying Skittle in her mouth with the agility of a hungry Golden Retriever, until she’s replaced by her parents, then her grandmother, then a burglar, then a police officer, and finally the adorable CGI gopher — all of whom continue to catch the flying candies in their mouths.
So let’s connect the colorful dots. We’re guessing Mr. Gopher dug a hole large enough for some stereotypical neighborhood bad guy to break in. Grandma called the police, Mom and Dad were frightened, but when they got to share delicious bite-sized fruity yummies with their daughter, everyone lived happily ever after. Even the guy trying to rob them blind.
Wix: for when action stars destroy your business and you need a new one
Wix is known for two things: user-friendly templates so even your grandma can launch a professional-looking website for her dog-walking business, and completely outrageous commercials. This year, Wix has taken the web building game to a whole new level, with Jason Statham and Gal Gadot doing what they do best: blowing everything up.
In this short-action film, featuring a strong asexual web design tool, Statham’s on a date with a woman at a classy restaurant. It all seems innocent until he catches Gadot’s eyes, revealing that the two are undercover and will soon beat up everyone in the place, mostly because. They do spare the web-savvy chef in the back room who was safely creating a business website with Wix, because it wouldn’t be much of a Wix commercial if they kill the Wix guy, now would it?
After the whole place is torched to the ground, Chef Wix leaves the city — and any crazed secret agents milling about there — behind, and starts his own food truck business. You go, dude. You’re the real hero. But who are you really? Perhaps we’ll find out during the next chapter.
Mr. Clean is … hot?
Mr. Clean is rewriting all those pesky household gender stereotypes in this hilarious new ad. The cleaning mascot is respectfully trending in his new place as he’s been reimagined as … a hot hunk who dances provocatively while he cleans your house? We’re just as confused as you are, but we’re not complaining, either.
In this commercial, Sarah is home alone when she’s met by the studmuffin version of everyone’s favorite cleaning man, who dazzles her with his dance moves and attention to his sanitary living environments. In the end, the awkwardly good-looking, hard-tushied Mr. Clean vanishes back into Sarah’s daydreams, and is replaced by her partner. But this time, his dad-bod is looking a lot sexier, because guess what, guys? Cleaning makes you more attractive. Just trust us. It’s science.
Turbotax: Humpty Dumpty does his taxes!
Turbotax released a clip of another one of their Super Bowl ad on Twitter, which cleverly combines two beloved American traditions: live action medieval knights with glimmering swords, and Mother Goose. If you’re a poetry nerd, you may have once contemplated the implications of this old children’s rhyme.
British comedian (and “Tom the Innkeeper” from Harry Potterand the Prisoner of Azkaban) Jim Tavare tackles the role of a lifetime as Mr. Dumpty: first name conveniently rhymed as Humpty, as clearly written in the narrative. He does his taxes on his famous wall and falls and shatters, like he do. But why exactly was he on the wall in the first place? He’s an egg! Eggs shatter, so you’d think a egg smart enough to do his own taxes would realize not to do so from a breakable height. More like Humpty Derpty.
Don’t worry, the people of Turbotax were kind enough to answer this mind-numbing existential question. Turns out, Humpty foolishly tried doing his taxes while sitting on the wall because, well, he could. Maybe he should watch Jurassic Park again, this time paying particularly close attention to whenever Jeff Goldblum talks.
GoDaddy: where the internet lives
Abandoning their classic “Hey look! A hot woman!” advertising format, webhosting company GoDaddy opted to embrace some of the finer points of the internet for this year’s series of Super Bowl ads.
These commercials have everything an internet enthusiast could ever ask for, and more. Go Daddy delivers all the greatest viral hits from the past few years including: a cute panda eating bamboo, roomba cats, The Dress, and a new twist that combines an old favorite with the greatest thing that’s happened to the Halloween mask industry since Scream: “Horse Mask on a Hawaii chair!” If you’re not familiar with Hawaii chairs, do yourself … a favor, and click on that link. It’s no wonder horse mask enthusiasts are entertained by it.
All this leads up to “the internet” finally being revealed — apparently, it’s some skinny-muscley guy covered in tattoos of all things internet, prone to humming Rick Astley while cruising down the street, looking for cool stuff to share with his millions of friends. It’s all very nice, but this guy clearly forgot the most important part of being “the internet”: endless arguments that never change minds and always ruin days.
Someone is John Malkovich
National treasure John Malkovich, star of “Being John Malkovich,” along with a plethora of other classic American cinema somehow not named after him, stars in this new ad for Squarespace, another web domain company.
Since you can tell a lot about a brand by its domain name, imagine Malkovich’s displeasure when he finds that an imposter John Malkovich has purchased JohnMalkovich.com, and is using it to promote the awesomeness that is fishing. THE Malkovich is none too pleased, as the barely-bleeped curses he utters as he taps out an angry e-mail to Fishing Malkovich surely signify.
In reality, the domain (powered by Squarespace, obviously) is actually owned by the actor, and he uses it to sell his new clothing line. Yep, he does clothes now — we’re just as surprised as you are. But remember how in the movie, anyone could go through a tiny door that leads to an existential gateway into Malkovich’s mind? Now you can go through the mystical gateway of the internet into Malkovich’s eye for design. We assume his line of jackets aren’t as creepy as the lines in his face.
Mercedes Benz: Easy Driver
When you think of Mercedes Benz, probably the last thing you imagine is a bunch of bikers at their favorite dive bar. Luckily, Mercedes went against the odds and combined these two oppositional concepts for their latest Super Bowl commercial. Directorial blackbelts, the Coen Brothers, added the perfect amount of grit to the luxury automobile brand.
Initially debuted as a four-part series of short videos on Twitter, the whole commercial has leaked by now, because we are an extremely impatient culture. So much for waiting until the 4th quarter to find out who’s brazen enough to block these bikers in. As it turns out, it’s the Mercedes-AMG GT Roadster, piloted by none other than Peter Fonda. Do the bikers give him guff for getting in their way? Hell no, they don’t! Both because that’s a sweet, sweet car, and because it’s Peter Fonda.
Lexus LC: man and machine, the perfect pair
Are you human, dancer, or a spectacular Japanese automobile? Lexus just released the extended cut of their Super Bowl commercial that dazzles us with their attractive new model and … oh yeah, a hunky dancer who was subtle enough to dance his way into the convergence of man and machine. Him too.
Charles Lil’ Buck Riley flexes his man-muscles dancing his way into the machine to form what’s basically an Optimus Prime daydream. It’s like automotive science fiction, or a twisted romance between man and car, but Riley dances so nice, so we’re not complaining. Luckily, Minnie Driver chimes in to narrate, for those of us who may not be Robocop fanatics. Driver explains, “Machines don’t have emotions, but the rare few can inspire them.” That’s great news for those of us emotional enough to catch feels for a car, but also dream of one day being fancy enough to drive our way into a luxury sedan.. Preferably via dancing there.
Joe Flacco: party pooper
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco is back from not making the playoffs, with a humorous new public service announcement that the people of Pepsi and Tostitos were kind enough to put together. Flacco comes clean about his party-pooping past in his new ad, “Party Poopers,” because apparently no one likes it if you touch their face too much when they invite you to their party. Unless, of course, you bring Tostitos and Pepsi! Then you can do whatever you want!
According to this PSA, you can be as weird as your creepy little heart desires — you can even be the psycho who shows up in full body paint — and if you bring the correct snacks, you will no longer be the party pooper, but rather the life of the party. Take it from Joe Flacco: the elite party guy.
Kathy Bates: American TurboTax Story
Tax season is upon us, and we all know what that means: TurboTax commercials! Here, we have America’s favorite horror villain back at it again with even more ghost drama, this time chronicling her attempts to claim the creepy ghost children haunting her new home as dependents. Unfortunately for all you budding tax attorneys out there who specialize in the paranormal, claiming creepy ghost children is not possible.
If this setup seems somewhat familiar, perhaps you’ll remember one of Kathy Bates’ several characters from American Horror Story over the past few years, or maybe even her portrayal of fanatic psychopath Annie Wilkes in Misery. For whatever reason, the modest-looking Kathy Bates has become one of our favorite horror villians, and TurboTax capitalized on her typecasting in their new ad.
What’s even spookier? This commercial was originally leaked as a “Super Bowl Commercial,” and yet it has somehow made it into general television advertising. You may have even seen it already … or HAVE you? How does the story end, Ms. Bates? Is there a sequel coming for us during the actual game? If there is, please don’t crush anyone’s feet with a giant hammer this time. We don’t want to get off the couch anyway, so that really won’t be necessary.
Tom Brady: he's just like us!
This ad is unique for a few reasons. For starters, Tom Brady most definitely isn’t just like us, unless you’re also married to a supermodel and have four Super Bowl rings. If so, then sure, he’s just like you!
In this commercial for tech company Intel, Brady’s everyday acts, like brushing his teeth and eating pancakes off the floor, become a billion times more epic once Intel’s 360 replay is added. So go ahead and try it out next time you take out your garbage. All you need to do is set up a tripod, film it, and use the replay to create the illusion that your most mundane chores are just like a prime-time NFL victory! Unfortunately, taking out the trash will still suck in reality, no matter what kind of special effects you plug into them.
Also, this Super Bowl ad was officially released as an early preview. That’s right, it’s a sneak preview of a commercial, or perhaps even a narrative series of Super Bowl ads for Intel, that we won’t even get to see until the big game. So until then, let’s just enjoy watching Brady eat that floor pancake (which, knowing Brady, is probably filled with kale) on repeat.
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