Modern dating is tough. In the past, people lived in small communities, so dating someone and then disappearing off the face of the earth wasn’t as simple as it is today. Dating apps have changed the way we date forever. With what feels like endless possibilities, people spend less time trying to connect and more time wondering if they are missing out on something better. Ghosting happens when a person you were interacting with, either romantically or platonically, disappears without giving so much as an explanation or even saying goodbye. While this experience is incredibly common it is still hard to know what to feel when it happens to you. As being ghosted can be disheartening, we’ve collected some tips on how to handle the situation.

Being ghosted is painful. But why? Firstly, not knowing what has happened means one can imagine crazy scenarios. Maybe the person has disappeared because something happened to them? Maybe they are just incredibly busy and will talk to you as soon as their schedule clears up? Another reason why ghosting hurts is that it makes us feel helpless and silenced. Not knowing why you were rejected might leave you filled with self-doubt. So, what is the best way to cope?

Don’t Blame Yourself

When someone disappears, our first instinct is to blame ourselves. It is important to remember that ghosting isn’t about you, but about the person who ghosted you. Of course, this is easier said than done, but remember to be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. It is the other person who has made an immature choice, which shows they can’t really handle adult relationships. This means the ghoster probably wasn’t the right person for you anyway.

Practice Self Care

When we are sad or hurt, our natural instinct might be to stay in bed and feel sorry for ourselves. While this might feel good at first, it can actually hinder your ability to move on. Make sure you take care of yourself by eating, exercising, and prioritizing sleep. These things might sound basic, but if we let them go, we can spiral into even more sadness. Once you get the basics down make sure to engage in activities that make you feel fulfilled. If you find yourself ruminating try to practice breathing and mindfulness. Try to spend as much time as possible next to friends and loved ones who make you feel good about yourself. You’ll forget about the person who ghosted you in no time.