There are questions which echo eternally from the smoke-filled dorm rooms of juniors with undeclared majors across this great nation. Deep, seemingly unanswerable questions like “could God make a kettlebell so heavy that even he couldn’t lift it?” and “isn’t the opposite of progress like, anti-gress?” and “is there a Guinness World Record for most Guinness World Records?”

It is with no small amount of delight that we lay at least that last question to rest. There is, in fact, a verified holder of the record for most world records. Known to the world as Ashrita Furman, he is a pinnacle of human achievement, a monolith of man’s ability to do stuff, and an unwavering force in the ongoing struggle to see how many grapes a person can catch in their mouth. Depending on your worldview, his tale will leave you feeling either desperately unaccomplished for never having learned to unicycle underwater, or like you made the right choice by deciding to focus on work instead of, say, seeing how long you could balance on an exercise ball.

Pogo-ing where no man has po-gone before

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