Try to imagine an alternate universe where Bob Ross stands behind you, slapping your hand every time you mess up a brushstroke, calling you a “maggot!” as he instructs, and forces you to drop and give him 20 because you weren’t sitting straight enough. That Bob Ross existed. Of course, he wasn’t teaching people how to paint at the time. Rather, Ross was enlisted as a master sergeant in the United States Air Force.

Ross admitted during an interview with the Orlando Sentinel that he was “the guy who makes you scrub the latrine, the guy who makes you make your bed, the guy who screams at you for being late to work.” He says the job itself forces you to behave that way. He had to be mean. A screaming Bizarro Bob Ross might haunt your dreams but, thanks to all that is good and holy, he made a commitment never to behave like an outraged meathead again once he was out of the armed forces. According to Ross, he “was fed up with it,” and he vowed to give up the whole screaming. He took on painting full-time and — voila! — the Bob Ross we know and love was born. So, your dreams are safe for now. Happy little dreams.